First Dark Night – I Think Therefore I Am – Identified With Objects

    The first dark night can last a long time and is the reality for most people today. In this stage, we are primarily identified with objects and thought is the main object. Everything we do and receive in life is filtered through our thinking. We live our life completely in our mind. A constant inner dialogue is occurring all day. This dialogue often carries on into the night. Difficulty to sleep, or to fall asleep, is a sign we have little ability to stop the dialogue. We are in the stage of expanding our personality and are identified with our thinking. Before awakening, the mind chatter is mostly invisible and “I think therefore I am”, is the main philosophy. All actions have the motive to gain attributes and get confirmation for our self-image. How we see ourselves, and how we believe others see us, is of primary importance.

    Most of our actions are harmful to self and others, because our main motivation is to gain something. A materialistic gain is only made when somebody else loses. Because most of humanity is not awakened, it explains the dog-eat-dog world, full of violence, destruction, lying, stealing, killing, fighting and poverty. We can be happy for some time in this stage, if we are gaining enough attributes and getting satisfaction from them. As the personality expands, pain grows proportionately and pain will eventually divert our focus from material acquisitions to the search for our spirit. The first awakening is near when the material acquisition game no longer satisfies.

    First Awakening –Higher-Self Arises As Vibration In The Mind

    Eventually the material acquisition game wears out when we no longer feel any joy from whatever we receive. In this moment, we admit we are miserable and material things no longer make us happy. This is a huge turning point, where we divert our attention from the material world and toward our spirit or The Creator. We actively search for something to fill the empty hole inside. The material game did not make us happy, so we are open to explore alternatives. This is the seeking and healing stage. We explore spirituality, read self-help books, do therapy, join support groups and seek a connection with our Creator. This stage can last long, with many intermediate steps within it. It is about unraveling the layers of programming that make up the personality.

    When we divert energy from material acquisition and focus on our source, we gain self-knowledge about ourselves. Self-knowledge reveals insights that slowly reduce attachment to our self-image. As attachment to our self-image reduces, moments of clarity happen and our thinking and emotions become visible. Increased clarity allows us to distance from our firm attachment we had with our self-image, and we see ourselves better. By using our energy to look at ourselves, we see how we are! Then we may ask, “Who is looking?” Each self-revelation is a mini-awakening that slowly raises our vibration. As we continue with self-discovery, an awakening event will happen when our vibration level is high enough in a moment when we stop the mind-chatter. Silence can happen after an accident or trauma, a sudden insight, seeing something beautiful, or while doing our meditation. What is significant is our mind was quiet long enough to release energy imprisoned by our nonstop mind-chatter. During that space of total quiet, our higher-self arises into our mind, we see our true nature, and now we know we are not the thinker. We experience ourselves as the source behind the thinking, we have seen beyond the veil, beyond that which blinded us. It is the first glimpse of our higher-self and we realize we are godlike creatures; we have awakened to our true nature.

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    About the Author

    betsy027ms MARY E. (BETSY) RABYOR was born in Wisconsin and lived in Nevada, Florida and Spain. She went to college and was a computer programmer for 17 years, with family and suburban life. Since 1990, she has meditated and learned self-healing techniques. In August of 1999, she spiritually awakened, quit her job and devoted her life to self-realization and helping others. Shortly after starting Reiki self-healing in 2005, her kundalini unexpectedly awakened. She continues to work with her kundalini transformation today. She lives in Wisconsin and is a skilled distance healer, author, poet, intuitive, and spiritual mentor.

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